12 years ago, I was a Fox News and right wing media consumer. I knew all the shows to watch, the personalities and frequent guests that went along with them. The lead-up to the Obama vs McCain election was riveting and I felt genuinely sad for America when the liberal president won. More left-wing-agenda policies …. more gay rights …. more opportunities for pro-choice proponents …. all resulting in less God-glorifying in the melting pot society and an all-round culture of losing the values I felt were in line with my faith structure.

As time went on, I still paid attention to American news outlets — yet, I noticed increasing sarcasm, scorn and at times, hostility from particular republican media sources, towards the man named Barack. It was amplified when super-famous Donald Trump made unwarranted cynical remarks about Barack, suggesting he might not have been born in the USA. There seemed to be a peculiar level of irritation, causing The Apprentice star to angrily target this guy (born in Hawaii) running for the top job. I remember all this stuff really well.

I also recall when the current president was known as The Donald. He came across as a larger-than-life character, always seeking more fame, more money, more power, even more attractive people in his company. Something was “off” with him. I sensed it, but assumed he was basically harmless to society. Nobody’s perfect — certainly not me. Needless to say, I couldn’t have fathomed a Trump presidency.

As well, I couldn’t have imagined him gaining and maintaining evangelical and nationalist supporters, considering the shockingly bad ways he has publicly conducted himself over the years. No exaggeration …. the evidence for this is easy to find. The fact that many people I know and care about, are in the category of being Trumpism participants & enthusiasts — in this agonizing pandemic year, has almost become numbing.

The contrast in Barack and Donald is extreme. When I was watching Barack’s first inauguration, I was tuned into Sean Hannity’s commentary. Nothing positive to report. Criticizing everything. Disgust and distain for the images, the celebrities, the speeches, etc. I felt discouraged for America, because I was watching an influential, bitter media host trash-talk the new democratic leader. Going from “community organizer” to the presidency was outrageous to Hannity and other conservative-opinion personalities.

Almost 6 years ago, non-government official, Mr. Trump, decided to run for president, with the intention of gaining more of everything I mentioned earlier. It wasn’t about accepting a calling or fulfilling destiny. It was always based on ego, branding and showcasing. At this point (with just days remaining until Nov. 3rd), he desperately wants to remain president because he despises people he considers to be losers. The thought of him being voted out is unacceptable to him and his effectively manipulated family members, enablers and other gaslit loyalists. They don’t realize it, but they will go down with him, in defeat. There is always hope for recovery and restored psychological health, though. The history books will tell the stories of how or if America finds her soul again.

I share these words today out of concern and actual love for the USA, as I sit relatively comfortable in my Canadian residence. The concept of the “united states” is far from reality and something I hope and pray will exist again. America needs to heal, but first, acknowledge the problem (and there are many). I no longer watch Fox News, The 700 Club (no more donations), listen to right wing pundits, get Franklin Graham posts in my newsfeed, subscribe to email newsletters from conservative sites, etc. I have wrestled with some of my decisions in letting go of my support to causes that no longer reflect who I am and what I believe. I have a soul that longs for peace, wholeness and the goodness in humanity, modelled by Jesus Christ. I am careful to meditate on scriptures that are contextually difficult to process. As I carry on with taking personal inventory and sometimes picking apart my beliefs, I accept my failures and incompetencies. If I am ridiculed or criticized for expressing these words, it won’t affect what I have learned and how I feel about the significance in what is happening in the USA. Most of the people in the world are paying attention and are hoping Joe Biden will defeat Donald Trump at the ballot box, because the hijacking of the most noble office in Washington must end. I am just another concerned citizen of the world without a vote, but I have a voice.

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Carolyn Joy Simpson

Carolyn Joy Simpson

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Writer — blog, nonfiction & novel (in progress), audiobook narrator, lifetime student, mother, adapter of challenges, non-credentialed theologian & philosopher.